Justin: In the Feast of Being Able to. Amen.

Cut My Hairs

As the language barrier continues to complicate the most mundane of every day transactions, I am reminded of similar past experiences.

In Wiesbaden, Germany in 1993 I sat on the floor of an antique store, sorting through a box of letters and envelopes. Of the two owners, one younger spoke just a touch of English and the other, a much older man, I never heard speak in any language at all. All this older man did was watch me with a wary stare.

The first day I visited the store, I purchased a Bible page from the 1700’s. Best I can tell, this apparently established me as a collector and not a mere tourist. When I returned the following day I was seated on the floor, mentioned above. I had set aside two war era parcels with Nazi content. One a mere Hitler stamp and the other a post card from 1939 with the message “faithfulness and fidelity to our Furer Adolph Hitler and wishes for a happy new year.” The signature was rubbed out. I was surprised to find these items as sale of Nazi paraphernalia is prohibited by law on Germany.

Suddenly, someone was standing over me. I looked up and it was the elder man. He held a spiral binder. He said nothing, merely looked at me stoically and backed away while extending the binder, then turning and placing it upon the counter.

It was full of historical Nazi items, including rare press photos of the Furer. One of them I will never forget. It was of Hitler seated in a lawn chair with a book. He looked to his left into the camera. On his other side, looking around him, a rotwieler glared into the camera.

When I paid he did not speak, but when I said “danke shon” he nodded.

Today I got my hair cut. She spoke no English. I reminisced of an epic hair cut in Venice by a gorgeous Italian woman with hairy arm pits. Sis and Tony watched, Tony video taping my hair as well as hers.

I wish I knew Spanish, but it’s ok that I do not.

Jordan texted me today:

Just say “yo tengo un gato en mi pantelones” to everyone. They will like you.

You must be logged in to post a comment.