Justin: In the Feast of Being Able to. Amen.

Finding Happy at Halloween

A friend asked his son last night what he wanted to be for Halloween. He responded, “A Mexican.”

This Halloween I’d like to be a drummer in a punk band sitting on my front porch playing a shiny new set of acoustic drums so fast my arms blow out every 10 minutes and I have to lower them to get the blood flow back.

I wouldn’t even have to be in costume, though a big afro wig would be excellent. Kids would have to get the candy out of my hair.

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TO: will*******
From: jdouglas
Subject: Outlook Express Kills Puppies

Dear Will,

Today I came in to work and booted up. I walked away for a minute, then came back and logged in, only to find Outlook Express was here, on my computer, killing puppies with its heel. I totally freaked and began flapping my arms like a chicken, because, well… I didn’t know what else to do.

After regrouping, I tried to kill it… kill Outlook Express, with deth. But, alas, I am not an admin and was thwarted as it was impervious to my phasers, there, behind it’s admin deflector shield.

So, I would like to request an air strike, an elite insertion, or just a ginormous bomb with a happy face on it. If you should choose to employ the missile option, I personally suggest you ride the thing over here in Dr. Strangelove fashion. If it was my missile, that’s what I’d do. Either way, this puppy killer needs to die.

Yours,

Justin

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TO: will*******
From: jdouglas
Subject: PUPPY KILLER DOWN!!!!11

Ok, so Jordan heard the yelps from afar, and he totally lobbed a frag over the cube wall and BOOM! HEADSHOTPWND! right to Express’ head. So, it’s all good, call off zee missiles!

Justin

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To: jdouglas
From: will******
Subject: Re:PUPPY KILLER DOWN!!!!11

Roger that. I was loading the nuclear payload and preparing to deploy. Threatcon back to yellow. Out.