Justin: In the Feast of Being Able to. Amen.

Finding Happy at Halloween

A friend asked his son last night what he wanted to be for Halloween. He responded, “A Mexican.”

This Halloween I’d like to be a drummer in a punk band sitting on my front porch playing a shiny new set of acoustic drums so fast my arms blow out every 10 minutes and I have to lower them to get the blood flow back.

I wouldn’t even have to be in costume, though a big afro wig would be excellent. Kids would have to get the candy out of my hair.


TO: will*******
From: jdouglas
Subject: Outlook Express Kills Puppies

Dear Will,

Today I came in to work and booted up. I walked away for a minute, then came back and logged in, only to find Outlook Express was here, on my computer, killing puppies with its heel. I totally freaked and began flapping my arms like a chicken, because, well… I didn’t know what else to do.

After regrouping, I tried to kill it… kill Outlook Express, with deth. But, alas, I am not an admin and was thwarted as it was impervious to my phasers, there, behind it’s admin deflector shield.

So, I would like to request an air strike, an elite insertion, or just a ginormous bomb with a happy face on it. If you should choose to employ the missile option, I personally suggest you ride the thing over here in Dr. Strangelove fashion. If it was my missile, that’s what I’d do. Either way, this puppy killer needs to die.




TO: will*******
From: jdouglas
Subject: PUPPY KILLER DOWN!!!!11

Ok, so Jordan heard the yelps from afar, and he totally lobbed a frag over the cube wall and BOOM! HEADSHOTPWND! right to Express’ head. So, it’s all good, call off zee missiles!



To: jdouglas
From: will******
Subject: Re:PUPPY KILLER DOWN!!!!11

Roger that. I was loading the nuclear payload and preparing to deploy. Threatcon back to yellow. Out.