Justin: In the Feast of Being Able to. Amen.

Wabbit Season

Whatever it is I’m going through right now requires Cracked Pepper sunflower seeds.

Last night I almost finished the bag of Cracked Pepper sunflower seeds. I realized this tonight after coming in from Fayetteville, putting on my pajama pants and a hoodie, and sitting down to write.

I reclined in my chair, staring at the nearly empty bag of yummy snacks in my hands. I wanted to start writing, not put my pants back on and go shopping.

Two convenience stores later, I found myself at Walgreens, ready to give up on Cracked Pepper and just settle for another flavor. I waited patiently while two star-crossed lovers hovered in front of the sunflower seeds, reading aloud the nutrition content word for word from the back of a package of trail mix.

I circled the isle like a vulture waiting to swoop in on a dying bunny.

My third time rounding the bend from the adjacent toilet paper isle, the lovers floated away on their cloud. That, or they sensed danger and fled. Either way, they moved out and I swooped in.

And found regular flavor, ranch and bbq. No cracked pepper.

I turned my face to the tube lights above and let out a shrill cry of ornithological angst. My prey had been an illusion. I moved on to other snacks.

At the check out, the nice clerk named Pedro made conversation, little of which I heard, all of which I answered. As I picked up my bags, I had to notice the empty-handed elderly woman behind me, crowding in too closely, eager for me to move so that she could request her cigarettes.

“You have a nice day,” Pedro said.
“You, too,” I replied.
“Be good,” Pedro said.
“Thanks, no promises,” I replied.
“Well, stay out of trouble,” Pedro said.
The elderly woman, desperately urged me forward.
Moving on out of her way, short on valid responses to Pedro, I turned to them both, and without thinking said, “I’m headed home now, to have a wild party with these Wasabi Peas and this half gallon of milk.”

I can’t really describe it, but her eye brows arched up and her mouth went from a flat, wrinkled, smoker-stern to a corners-down sort of gaping mouthed quick feed me a carrot look of disgust.

“Sounds, good, be safe,” Pedro said.
“Thanks, you, too,” I replied.
“Take care,” Pedro said.
“You, too,” I replied.

  • Hi I’m Jordan and I remembered my username and p/w!!! At some point you should have said to Pedro, “If I were any better I’d be you, BROTHER.”.

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