Justin: In the Feast of Being Able to. Amen.

Heart Journal

It’s not every day that a strange yet attractive blonde woman shaves your nipples, but yesterday was one of those days.

I’d felt some strange abnormalities in the chest going on for some months, and so doc decided to hook me up with a 48 hour heart monitor. I have a feeling it is related to my intake of copious amounts of coffee, which I have only consequently begun to curve. We’ll see.

“Sit right here on the table and take off both your shirts.” She moved to stand before me with an electric razor.
“You aren’t gonna need that,” I said looking at the razor.
“Well you just make my job easy,” she said. Then, I think to be polite, she went ahead and used the razor in a couple of spots.
They gave me a journal to record times and events. They will review it as they review the digital recording of my heartbeat.

Now that I’m wired, there were, of course, no significant heart thumping events to speak of that day. Nor yet today. Of course, the car never makes that noise when the mechanic is listening.

Went to the Wanamaker gun show in Tulsa today. Simply incredible. It is the largest gun show in the world. Fort Smith gun shows are rockin when they hit 500 tables. This show boasts from 4-5,000 tables.

Sat Evening
After over 48 hours I removed my chest sensors on the ride home. We got back around 5pm, and so of course at 6pm I finally had a good heart thumping.

Some Heart Journal Entries from my 48 hours:
TH 2:26pm Slight Thumping – Attractive women at doctor’s office.
510pm Cuddled with Cat, FYI
736pm Corpse defiled by friend John in Battlefield, slight palpitation.
FR 8:25am Ignored Rule, took illegal shower. Very awkward for me and cat.
1220PM Quick lunch nap.
5:12pm Cuddled with Cat. Can you hear that?
Sat 5:40am Another illegal shower. Had to; road trip.
8:05am Tulsa Gun Show! Increased rate.
8:07am .50 BMG! Increased rate.
8:15am Tactical booth 1 / 50. Increased rate.
8:21am Considered just unplugging this. Will note exit from show.
12:18pm Leaving Show, mark normal pulse here.
Sat 1:48pm PF Chang. Eating things I can’t pronounce. STUFFED.
3:45 Removing unit BEFORE we enter Roland, in case we are pulled over. Never give Sequoyah County law enforcement an excuse to ticket, taze or take you down. Probes on nipples may qualify.

You must be logged in to post a comment.